Doubt lies at the heart of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). That’s why it’s often been called the “doubting disease.”
The implication is that the act of doubting is a sickness, a pathology.
But is this really true? Could it be that the doubting that comes so easily to those with OCD is actually an act of clear seeing?
In this sense, those with OCD have a piercing gaze that sees through the delusory veil of certainty. They see what many of us deny – that we can know nothing for sure, that doubt is marbled into the essence of all things.
This flies in the face of the conventional way of looking at OCD. According to this view, OCD doubt is pathological, even delusional. Healing from OCD requires letting go of this excessive doubt and learning to trust in the many certainties or near certainties that those without OCD take for granted.
But what if OCD doubt more accurately reflects the inherently uncertain nature of all things? What if those without OCD are simply deluding themselves that there’s more certainty than is actually the case?
Consider that OCD doubt may reflect a deeper, more accurate view of reality. Many of the world’s wisdom traditions celebrate doubt as an opportunity to expand consciousness. As one Zen saying puts it,
“The greater the doubt, the greater the awakening; the smaller the doubt, the smaller the awakening. No doubt, no awakening.”*
Seen in this way, OCD doubt is an enormous opportunity to awaken to a deeper truth. It shows us that uncertainty is a fundamental reality of the human experience. Once we see that certainty is delusional, we stand on the threshold of a new world.
The pathological part of OCD isn’t this moment of clear seeing. It’s the subsequent attempt to un-see this truth and chase after a level of certainty that—deep down—we know isn’t possible. This is what gives rise to the exhausting and fruitless compulsive rituals and behaviors that characterize OCD.
This response is understandable. It’s intimidating and even terrifying to have a clear glimpse of the ineradicable doubt at the heart of all things. Fear is a natural by-product of this perception. It’s easy to allow this fear to take over, resulting in frantic attempts to claw one’s way back to a feeling of certainty.
OCD treatment rightly views these efforts as pathological and seeks to extinguish the associated behaviors and rituals. But it often wrongly sees the goal as a return to the level of confidence and certainty that those without OCD enjoy. In other words, those with OCD should distrust their perception that doubt is universal and inescapable.
But what if OCD’s perception of profound, all-encompassing doubt is a unique opportunity to expand one’s consciousness and experience a deeper truth?
Whether OCD turns out to be a gift or curse depends on how we respond to this awareness of the ubiquity of doubt. If we respond by trying to eradicate doubt and regain certainty, we’ll become locked in the compulsive cycles that are the trademark of the disorder.
Thankfully, there’s another way. If we respond to doubt by learning to tolerate, accept, and even explore it as a fundamental truth, we can use OCD to expand and enrich our understanding of ourselves, others, and the world.
An enlightened approach to OCD means leaning into doubt and transforming our relationship to it. When we do this, doubt and uncertainty cease to be enemies. Instead, they become pathways to a higher consciousness that can tolerate and celebrate the complexities and mysteries of the human journey.
Great Doubt, Great Awakening!
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References
*Zhang, Z. (1959). The practice of Zen. Harper & Brothers.
